the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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