i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
