He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
