Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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