so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
