yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
