And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
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