why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
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