My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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