I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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