also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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