it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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