I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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