can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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