I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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