She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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