Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
