Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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