come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
