is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Randomize
