Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
birth control should be required to get into college
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
