so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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