It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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