I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Duck Duck Cougar?
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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