areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
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