Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
