Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
