Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
