Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
