We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
