haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Randomize
