OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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