moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
