Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
