i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
