i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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