what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Randomize
