Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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