how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Randomize
