i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
