'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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