Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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