He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Help. Why am I so naked?
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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