He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
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