I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
We have so much sex to catch up on
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
