please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
