I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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