you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
