Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Randomize
