The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
